Even now I can feel him.
Hands buried in my heart
reaching to upturn old, unwanted roots
long hidden from the light, fooling me
of their power to grow and squelch the new life sprouting.
I grimace at all this sifting
now wedging dirt beneath his fingernails.
He, soiled with me
plowing the dark forests of my hurt and shame
and I scream “go away”
retreating to shadows amidst tangled roots.
But still he
doesn’t
leave
me
to the muddled life cloaked in trees and clouds
but hacks at those stems that separate us
with the resurrected sun
and an emptied pocket full of seeds.
Comments
Thank you all of you.
Patti, also one of my favorite lines.
I guess I’ve been thinking lately how knowing God is a dirty business, something they don’t always tell you in Sunday school. There it’s always about the rebirth, renewal, righteousness (all true and worthy), but all of that stuff is trapped still in my quite broken body. And the fact that he wades through all of that mess every. single. day. for me, enduring my spiritually toddler tantrums, well. that’s beauty.
This is really, breath-takingly wonderful. “He, soiled with me” is stunning. Have I mentioned that I am so very glad you are posting again?? Because I AM.
Beautiful, Bethany. You inspire, as usual.
It felt good to say. Thank you.
this. is. good.
amen sister