parenting lesson #736: movie ratings exist for a reason

FAMILY

For the last week I’ve debated whether to put this on the blog in pursuit of saving face (as well as my son’s). But, in the words of Burke and Liam, I figured, “what the HACK!” Whether wise or not, Mark and I have allowed both of the boys to see the Transformers movie with our supervision and the omission of a handful of scenes. They are primarily interested in the last 20 minutes or so anyway (the battle of good and evil). 

Well, the other day I’m putting some clothes away in the boys room, while Liam simultaneously is trying to get dressed. I, putting their shorts away in one drawer, told him he’d have to be patient before trying to open the shirt drawer right above it. To which Liam looked at me and in a rather jovial tone said, “What? What about bros before hoes?” Shocked that my son did in fact just call me a “ho,” I looked at him and said, “excuse me?” Only to realize by his blank expression that in spite of his amazing contextual accuracy, Liam actually had no idea what he had just said, nevermind why it could have possibly offended me. (For those of you who are novices to Transformers, that’s what Sam’s friend says to him when Sam boots him into the back seat in order to pick up a girl-crush. And also, one of the omitted scenes that apparently was not omitted at some point.) It was enough for Liam that I explained to him how rude and demeaning it is to call someone a “ho” (let alone your mother), and that I never wanted him to say it again. He quickly responded, “OK. I’m sorry, Mom.” Only after he left the room could I actually laugh.

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Comments

  1. Bethany, if he grows up to prefer breasts over a nice rear, I would be in no way surprised.

  2. OMG. That is hilarious. I would never been able to keep a straight face. Seriously Bethany, you should write a book.

  3. Well, I’m glad that everyone’s had a good laugh. Stephanie, I completely forgot about that (for everyone else, that was when Liam was about 2). Also within that same year Liam pointed at my sister’s chest using his pointer and middle finger and said, “um, those things are about to bust out of your shirt.”

  4. When I told Ryan your story, he said “That’s awesome!” We were both cracking up. I’m just picturing your facial expression after you heard what he said.

  5. OK, Stephanie’s comment rules, and Liam is now everything I want my son to become. Great story Bethany.

  6. I can’t comment because I’m laughing too hard. Sorry…but once again, you will be glad one day that all this is written down for posterity.

  7. /facepalm. thats just hilarious. It reminds of when Liam and I were sitting on the couch watching world cup soccer, and he suddenly started pointing at me and laughing. When he could finally get words out he said “you’ve got boobs!” and kept giggling.

  8. Oh, ho. So, you won’t be letting him stay up to watch the season premiere of “Grey’s Anatomy” tonight, then? Too bad. The medical scenes are really educational.

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