I’m going to reengage and confess that I’ve been a b*tch this last week. We all have — well, carried some form of the attitude anyway. Or at least it’s felt that way. I want to blame (what’s confession without blame?) the surmounting irritability on the suffocating heat combined with our 1950s household windows — the ones you can actually feel breezes through and participate in whispered conversation on separate sides of when they’re closed. Our AC fights to hover near 80 during the days. For the last few days I’ve been listening to my kids whine and bicker and “me first” toward one another and thinking “what the hell has happened here?” as I fill up our baby plastic pool (that’s big enough for the three of them to sit in, opposed to swim in) so they can play outside. We’ve continued our normal adventures outside of the home, but nothing has seemed to appease these self-sufficing-with-total-disregard-for-others attitudes. Then the clouds came and along with it, the rain. Relief. Rest. Epiphany: I’ve been just as whiny and self-focused as my children. Certainly not one of my finer moments (by “moments” I mean weeks). I’ve been impatient and hard, quickly recognizing and speaking to all their “needs for improvement” rather than commending their accomplishments, obedience, and kindness (no matter how sporadic they’ve been lately). I’m glad that’s not how the Lord deals with us.
So, I thought on a positive note, I’d share a picture of some of the recycled art that the boys have produced lately. (From left to right): Luke Skywalker with his light saber on a skyscraper, a robot helmet, and a tank). They also have piles of paintings and drawings not pictured. Blythe’s art, also not pictured, has mostly involved a variation of mediums (chalk, watercolors, crayons) on my walls. Thus far, I think her favorite color is pink.
Comments
Patti, Luke IS the feather, and the red stick is his light saber. Thanks for the hilarious and encouraging picture of you yelling at people in cars. And yes, tomorrow is always better. I think Annie taught me that.
Is Luke Skywalker wearing a feather boa? I hope so. Impatient and hard–yes, that is sadly familiar. At the zoo today I held up my hand and YELLED at two SUVs who weren’t yielding at the crosswalk, “PEDESTRIANS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!!” frightening my children and my sister-in-law and her kids, who were visiting for the day. The cars screeched to a halt (thankfully–it would have been a dumb way to leave my children motherless) and I marched across feeling so self righteous until I realized that there was nothing admirable in my behavior. Is that really what I want to model–yelling and haughtiness? And you can imagine that if my irritation is encroaching upon strangers what a joy I’ve been at home. No wonder Harper has been irritable and out of sorts. Tomorrow will be better.